Wow! Very hurtfelt. I can feel what you are feeling through this turmoil by just reading your words. All will be well.
But I did read that breaking contact with an avoidant does more harm that good. It's better just to let them be. You cannot help an avoidant heal from a trauma. They have to be willing to do it themselves so as to be securely attached. Sending hugs and hope your husband feels better 🤗.